The Men of My Dreams: Special VDay Tribute

Most of the time, the people in my dreams are completely made up concoctions I’ve never seen in real life, fantastic creations of my subconscious most likely influenced by whatever I was watching or reading before I fell asleep. So whenever I’ve awakened from a dream in which a real person has made an appearance, that dream stays with me for quite a long time.

In honor of Valentine’s Day (which yes I know has passed but shut up this is MY blog) I thought it would be fun to recount the more “romantic” dreams in which my celebrity crushes have appeared.  Enjoy!


No words.

Dream #1 – “Prison Break-In” (feat. LL Cool J)
In this dream, LL is in jail in a somewhat tropical locale (crime he committed? no idea). There’s a beach nearby, like right outside the jail. Like, the inmates can hear the ocean through their cell windows. And, of course I’m his girlfriend in this scenario. So I go to the jail to visit him for the first time, and the strange thing is none of the cells have bars or doors of any kind. They’re completely just… wide open. Despite this, none of the inmates have the ability to enter or exit their cells freely. I don’t really know what kind of magical trickery was in place here, but I know that LL is sitting in a chair in the middle of the cell and he can’t get out. A straight-backed wooden chair in the middle of the room, and he’s wearing handcuffs behind his back.  That is the only thing in the cell.  No bed, no toilet. Just the chair. Oh, and there’s a small window with bars.  I guess the “no-bar” magic doesn’t work for windows. So I stroll right into his cell and sit on his lap, and we start “saying hello” for 45 minutes nonstop. I think “saying hello” is the nicest way to put it.  After that, everything gets fuzzy… I can’t remember anything else. But I’m pretty sure if anything even REMOTELY similar this were to happen in reality, with LL Cool J, I’d have the same reaction.  I probably wouldn’t remember my own name for a week.


My Baby Daddy

Dream #2 – “Baby Daddy” (feat. Andre 3000)
I’m back in my very first apartment, in Maryland, circa 2002. (That was a really nice-sized apartment by the way.) In this dream I have a child, I think a little girl, fathered by Andre 3000. Side note: Did I not mention I have a crush on him? So anyway, Andre comes to visit me and the baby. I guess in this dream we’re not an official couple any more, because he’s not living with me and the baby, but he’s still doing his part to be a daddy. And we still get along, like there’s no hostility between us, which I am rather proud of because in real life let me tell you, it would NOT go down like that. But I digress. So Andre is playing with the baby and being all cute and daddy-ish, and I’m just standing next to him over the crib where the baby is. Then Andre puts her back into the crib and says something about how much he loves her and how great of a mother I am. I believe at this point in my dream-mind, I think “oh here we go, he’s trying to butter me up” or something to that effect. Next thing you know, he’s kissing me, and not to be gross, but his tongue is like sandpaper. I remember so vividly the rough feeling and how weird I thought it was. But for some odd reason I didn’t break it off, I just let it keep going. And of course, things get fuzzy after that… seeing a pattern here? 😉


Two-Time Offender…

Dream #3 – “Kickin’ Knowledge” (feat. Andre 3000…again)
Author’s note: This is, by far, my favorite dream of the three—and uh, please note there is ZERO fooling around in this one!

So in this dream, I’m invited to an evening gathering at the home of one of my “subconscious” friends—definitely no one I know in real life. It takes place in a secluded, enormous, log cabin/mansion hybrid in a clearing in the woods. Picture a 7,000 square-foot estate but with the look & feel of a log cabin. Absolutely gorgeous… from the outside. Because in this dream that’s all I see of the house. I spend the entire time outside, laying on these really comfortable blue lounge chairs, looking up at the stars, and having absolutely the most interesting, thought-provoking, and spiritually intense conversation of my life, with Andre 3000. Everyone’s coming and going to and from the party, I can hear laughter and fun being had inside the house, but I spend hours outside talking to Andre talk about life, love, God, the universe, constellations, space & exploring other galaxies, and any other topic that comes up. What I love about this conversation is how he speaks his facts and opinions in the most beautifully non-judgmental, loving way I’ve ever heard anyone speak about anything. I woke up from this dream feeling so peaceful and warm inside. It almost made me sad that hadn’t really happened, because to have a friend I can talk to like that is one of the things I’ve been missing for YEARS, probably since college (when I had lots of friends I could talk to like that). Le sigh…

Honorable mention goes to Morris Chestnut, who also made an appearance in my dream—more recently than the others. In this dream he was trying to find my good friend Toya who for some reason was living in NYC, so that he could propose to her. He’d done something to piss her off though, so she was sort of in hiding, and I was helping him track her down because as the good friend, I had a better idea of where to look. Eventually we do find her, he apologizes and then proposes, and of course she says yes. I mean who wouldn’t?!

What celebs have popped up in your dreams? Do tell. I want details!

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