Skinny on the Inside

Since August 2011, I’ve been halfheartedly taking part in Weight Watchers.  For many reasons, I felt it was time to get “serious” about my health, my body image, physical fitness, and all that other good stuff.  My results have been…unexciting.  I’ve lost some weight, but not as much as I would have liked to lose by now.  The more time that’s passed since I joined, the less motivated I feel.  Truthfully, with all I know about healthy living and nutrition, and with all the compelling evidence pointing to the fact that I’ll probably die young if I don’t change things, I still find it so hard to stay on the wellness bandwagon.

As the child of a health care provider, my entire life I’ve been warned of the risks of eating too much salt, too much sugar, too much fat, too much cholesterol, too many carbs.  Even before “wellness” became a buzzword, I knew about this stuff.  My father died at 46 from a heart attack.  He was not a small man, he smoked, and he had quite an appetite.  I should be thin as a rail and healthy as a horse, knowing all of this.  And maybe deep down inside, I am.  But as of right now, this knowledge hasn’t given me the swift kick in the butt I need.

Do I really need it though?  Why do people need to be FORCED into doing something that’s good for them?  I can’t count the number of times I’ve thought to myself, it would take something really majorly earth-shattering for me to stop doing [insert bad thing here].  Why do we think this way?  Why do I think this way?

In life, there are facts, plain and simple.  Eat like a pig and you will put your life in jeopardy.  Excessive drinking creates alcoholics.  Smoking causes cancer.  We see these things all the time, yet we either ignore them or we think, well, if it happens to me I’ll deal with it when the time comes.

Now that I have actual proof from my doctor telling me that I need to change my diet or risk serious consequences, I can feel my thinking shifting.  I feel like I’m turning a corner now, 31 years into life. Finally.

Maybe I’ll get to buy a cute dress when I go to Paris this June after all.  Here’s hoping.

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