Video: I’m a Horrible Puppy Parent.

My puppy, Barney, just got fixed on Friday.  He’s almost 7 months old, so it was definitely time.  Now I’m a HUGE proponent for researching the heck out of any major decision or life-altering event, before actually committing to it.  So of course I read approximately 30 trillion articles about neutering and what to expect after surgery, what I need to have on hand, what kind of drama I’ll be dealing with and for how long.

One thing these articles failed to impress upon me was the total OBSESSION Barney would have with two things: (1) operating at 100% energy level despite just having had surgery, and (2) trying constantly to lick his incision.  Now, the articles did address that to some extent, by saying something like, “make sure you don’t let him lick the incision.”  Well, okay.  Sure, I’ll do that.

They needed to say it like this:

“You need to take an entire two weeks off work after your dog is neutered as you will need to be constantly pulling his head forward to prevent him from licking his incision.  If that’s not possible because you actually have to go to work to earn the money to pay for all your dog’s expenses, you can put the E collar (cone of shame) on him but be prepared for it to take between 5-7 minutes to put on each time, as he will fight you with all of his might.  Once the collar is on, he will then throw himself around the room violently in attempts to get the E collar off.  When he tires of that he will proceed to run around your entire home at full speed, in excitement/frustration that he now has a new goal in life: to murder this plastic contraption around his neck. Finally, exhausted and defeated, he will pass out as a result of his fruitless struggle.”

Don’t believe me?  Watch this:

I really don’t know why they didn’t speak the truth.  I could have handled it and perhaps been better prepared.  Instead, I’m forced to put the collar on him, go to work, and come back to an over-excited and unhappy puppy every day for the next 7 to 10 days.

I’m sure he hates me now.

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